“We didn’t have mental health, and we turned out fine!” A common rebuttal we hear far too often. The truth is, the concept of mental health existed long before we had the words, research or understanding to describe it. Ancient civilisations documented experiences of psychological distress thousands of years ago, and the foundations of modern psychiatric classification and clinical practice developed as early as the 1800s.
Unfortunately, the history of mental health care also includes a history of fear, stigma and exclusion. Labels and diagnoses have, at times, been used to separate, institutionalise and discriminate against people experiencing mental distress. It is hardly surprising, then, that we still approach mental health conversations with some hesitation. The negative connotations still live in our language.
Validating support creates connection
Language itself helps to conceptualise our experiences, our feelings, our thoughts, and our behaviour. We feel more understood and in control when we have the words for it, which leads to healthier communication and management. Being able to say, “I’m overwhelmed,” “I’m anxious,” or “I’m struggling”, sounds simple enough, but is still a challenging disclosure for many of us.
For students balancing work, family and study, that first disclosure can feel especially daunting. Milpark offers more than one way in, so students can start with whatever feels most manageable. Lecturers and one-on-one consultations are there for academic concerns, and October Health gives every Milpark student 24/7 access to chat-based counselling, guided resources, and wellness tools.
Mental health is not a modern invention designed to explain a new generation’s perceived softness. Rather, what has changed is our willingness to talk about it and find better ways to care for ourselves and one another.
The ripple effects of emotional regulation
Emotional regulation is the ability to notice, understand, manage, and respond to our emotions in ways that are helpful and appropriate to the situation, rather than simply reacting to it. It is not reserved for therapy rooms or moments of crisis. It is a skill that is called upon daily. It can look like:
- The deep breath we take before walking into an interview
- The cold water we splash on our faces after a good cry
- The positive affirmations we repeat to ourselves while waiting for an exam paper
- Stepping away from an argument before we say something we cannot take back.
At an intrinsic level we recognise that the emotion needs attention and expression, but also intention and aftercare.
Everyone has the capacity for mental health, but not everyone has been taught how to effectively manage their mental health. Emotional regulation is both a preventative and protective tool. I would argue that it is necessary for survival.
Practised regularly, emotional regulation can help in ways that reach well beyond the individual:
- Anger: Difficulty regulating emotions is linked with higher levels of aggression, and mindfulness-based approaches have been shown to reduce anger and aggression.
- Coping: People with substance use disorders tend to have greater difficulty regulating their emotions, which is one reason healthy coping strategies matter.
- Connection: Social connectedness is recognised as a protective factor against suicide. The WHO links isolation with suicidal behaviour and notes that stigma stops many people from seeking help.
- Generations: Research on parents and adolescents links parents dismissing a child’s emotions with greater emotional difficulty in that child. Many of us carry patterns we did not choose, and they do not have to be repeated.
Biology and mental health
There is also a biological reason why these skills matter. When we perceive a threat, physical or emotional, the body responds before we have time to think:
- Our hearts race
- Our muscles tense
- Our breathing changes
- Our thoughts may feel overwhelming
In moments like these we need to train our bodies to settle and regulate before we can make our next move.
The encouraging part is that our brains have the capacity to change through learning and repeated experience, a property known as neuroplasticity. Like any other skill, practising new ways of responding can help us build healthier habits over time. Each time we move through a difficult experience and recover, we have an opportunity to learn from it.
Think of it as building a coping bank or toolbox. We cannot eliminate every stressful situation from our lives, nor should that be the goal. Disappointment, conflict, uncertainty and loss are part of being human. What we can do is build a collection of tools that helps us navigate these experiences. We need to build the safe spaces internally.
Milpark builds this kind of toolbox into student life in layers. Depending on the programme, students may have access to tutors, academic trainees, structured study schedules, and additional learning sessions, which give them practical strategies to use now and return to when pressure builds.
Reframing emotions and self-care
Emotions are not inherently good or bad; they are part of how we experience and respond to the world. Anger can tell us that a boundary has been crossed. Anxiety can indicate to us that something feels uncertain or threatening. They are indicators and signals that deserve just as much space as the emotions that feel good.
Hearing how other people have worked through similar pressures can make a difficult emotion feel less isolating. Milpark students can connect through study groups, student representatives, and online communities, and certain programmes also offer mentorship.
This is where compassion becomes a driving force, because what may seem like a “bad” emotion, only feels safe if you allow it. Self-compassion allows us to become curious about what we’re feeling, what might have contributed to it and what we need in that moment.
Understanding is progress
Do not minimise the breathing exercises, the walks around the block, or putting a name to what you’re feeling and giving yourself time to feel it. We don’t need to prove that we turned out fine without talking about mental health. Perhaps we can be proud that we’re learning to understand ourselves better than we once did. Engaging the conversation and normalising the language is important and helps equip the next generation.
As we learn how to move through experiences, process and acknowledge them truthfully, and care for ourselves, it helps those coming after us to do the same.
At Milpark, students can draw on:
- Academic support: lecturers and one-on-one consultations
- Student Success & Wellness: one-on-one consultations for accounting students focused on time management guidance, stress management and support with balancing studies, work and personal commitments.
- Peer and community support: study groups, student representatives and online communities, with mentorship in certain programmes
- Additional learning support: depending on the programme, tutors, academic trainees, structured study schedules and additional learning sessions
- October Health: 24/7 chat-based counselling, guided resources and wellness tools, available to every Milpark student
Learning to understand ourselves better is easier with support.
